Found your account today via Dr. Amber Hull. Have also been a MLNP member for a few years.. since my midlife divorce, ENM / polyamory / RA explorations. Partnered now - surprisingly or not - and much of this resonated. Especially as you say below in a comment - what would happen if I keep being self-absorbed (which I think is also a thing that happens in the head) and let our connection fall apart....
Gosh thanks so much for reading and sharing this. I love the small world we’re in of shared experiences and digital places. I am already following you and can’t recall how I found you but do recognize your name and image. I’ll be looking back into your work after dinner time :)
Ugh, so deeply identifying with much of this. Also made a pact to start relationship with now husband and fit into the mind-fucker box pretty neatly (guess I gotta read the July now after all). Beyond just, you know, tuning in and allowing oneself to chill out in a good marriage (which thank god I have!), are there other resources that have helped you get into the body more? Also thanks for writing this. I’ve intuited this intimacy stance in myself for years and wished it otherwise but never seen it described so clearly, which has made it hard to know how to grow through/beyond it.
Gosh it feels good to have someone say “ditto” - so THANK YOU for reading and letting me know you get it too.
Other than the surrendering into the good marriage (which for me has been trial and error with stress relief practices to find ‘mine’), I have this thing I do to visualize what would happen if I kept being self absorbed and let our connection fall apart.. I call it My Stranger Spouse divorce meditation lol and I wrote a piece on it here. Nothing shocks me out of my mind, and into my body, more than an imagined fissure - which I suppose is why I credit this realization to the glitter/infidelity obsession. The Stranger visualization helps me have that feeling in a positive way.
Also music! It’s always been an embodying experience for me. Melody cuts deep.
Anyways I hope that was helpful and I’m really delighted to meet you online. Thank you for finding me!
Super piece - loved it. "A couple can better understand each other, of course, but the real improvements come when individuals learn about themselves." Awesome.x
Found your account today via Dr. Amber Hull. Have also been a MLNP member for a few years.. since my midlife divorce, ENM / polyamory / RA explorations. Partnered now - surprisingly or not - and much of this resonated. Especially as you say below in a comment - what would happen if I keep being self-absorbed (which I think is also a thing that happens in the head) and let our connection fall apart....
Gosh thanks so much for reading and sharing this. I love the small world we’re in of shared experiences and digital places. I am already following you and can’t recall how I found you but do recognize your name and image. I’ll be looking back into your work after dinner time :)
Ugh, so deeply identifying with much of this. Also made a pact to start relationship with now husband and fit into the mind-fucker box pretty neatly (guess I gotta read the July now after all). Beyond just, you know, tuning in and allowing oneself to chill out in a good marriage (which thank god I have!), are there other resources that have helped you get into the body more? Also thanks for writing this. I’ve intuited this intimacy stance in myself for years and wished it otherwise but never seen it described so clearly, which has made it hard to know how to grow through/beyond it.
Gosh it feels good to have someone say “ditto” - so THANK YOU for reading and letting me know you get it too.
Other than the surrendering into the good marriage (which for me has been trial and error with stress relief practices to find ‘mine’), I have this thing I do to visualize what would happen if I kept being self absorbed and let our connection fall apart.. I call it My Stranger Spouse divorce meditation lol and I wrote a piece on it here. Nothing shocks me out of my mind, and into my body, more than an imagined fissure - which I suppose is why I credit this realization to the glitter/infidelity obsession. The Stranger visualization helps me have that feeling in a positive way.
Also music! It’s always been an embodying experience for me. Melody cuts deep.
Anyways I hope that was helpful and I’m really delighted to meet you online. Thank you for finding me!
Super piece - loved it. "A couple can better understand each other, of course, but the real improvements come when individuals learn about themselves." Awesome.x
You're so sweet. Thank you for reading xxxx
My goodness. You are spectacular. This line: “Someone who’ll humor you through the oral surgery of conversations.” —>> so freakin good. Brava!
❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you
This is an insane write up.
lol, welcome
I was like wtf is happening half the time reading it 😭😭
(And thank you, truly, for reading and commenting)
:)
We like a wild ride